I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
