So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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