That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
