Cold hands, warm shart.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
