just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
