love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
