Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Welp...herpes.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
