Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
