last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
