I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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