her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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