PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
