Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well you can't waste a boner
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
