At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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