dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
