so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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