And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
