Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
