My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
