is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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