Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't shave. On purpose
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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