My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
