so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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