omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
