Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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