I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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