...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
