She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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