if only i could text you this smell
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
