I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
