my vag is so smooth its legendary
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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