so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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