sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
