I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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