I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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