shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
