she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
