worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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