he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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