Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
