It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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