so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
