how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
