Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
