Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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