Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We're too hungover to prance.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
