Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
