Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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