Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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