dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
