i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
wow bdsm is so cute
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
