i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No subtext here. People are naked.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
