i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
